T'was the night before Christmas...and I was in trouble!

T'was the Night before Christmas
And I lay in fear
I'd forgotten a gift
For my wife 'gain this year

My heart beat so fast
I didn't know what to do
I'd messed up! I was doomed!
My name would be poo!

I slipped from the bed
And crept to the hall,
Creaked open the door
Tripped over a ball.

My head hit the door,
Or maybe the frame.
I bounced once or twice
And fell down in shame.

My wife heard the noise,
and all of the clatter,
And came to the hall to see
What was the matter.

"I'm fine!" I insisted
"Go back to bed!"
But she sat on the floor and
Cradled my head.

I heaved a great sigh.
What else could I do?
I told my dear lovely wife
That my name was poo.

"Not true!" she insisted.
"I just need you!
Not diamonds or furs,
Or a canoe.

Not a new purse or
Even a shawl,
Or even a gift card to 
Spend at the mall."

She gazed in my eyes and
kissed my poor head.
Took hold of my hand,
Led me back to the bed.

I lay there and prayed and
Thanked God above,
For my wonderful wife and her
Marvelous love.

And next year, I thought,
I'd fill her with glee
And get her a nice framed
picture of me!

** Please note, this poem clearly bears no resemblance to reality. I ALWAYS get my wife a lovely gift, like a brand new iron, or maybe a beautiful vacuum.....